The True Life of a Monster Truck
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: Pertaining to the Monster Trucks in the Xbox game as well as reallife Monsters as well as Faux Monsters. Also a bit of a love story.


Note: Actual and faux trucks are spoken on. Dark (from "Beyond the Graveyard") is mentioned but this is more about Count Spatula and The Crippler from the Xbox video game. There is a female monster truck named Luna and she falls pretty hard for Crippler, who's real name is Murphy. Believe it or not, Murphy knows a thing or two about medicine and practices when he's not performing.

"Don't look little one, shield your eyes ! It's not pretty !"--Don Patch

"Poets and madmen all defy reason, still in my mind I know I want to live my life with you, dying hard.

Play my whole hand until it's through, dying hard."--some lyrics from Symmetry sung by Savatage

Chapter 1—Posers and Wannabes

Don't be fooled by my intense expression. It's all for show and nothing more. It's true, I've probably given some younger fans some nightmares with the fire in my eyes and my buzzphrases in my Lon Carchany imcarsonations..."You're DOA !" , or "I'm going to pull the plug on you !" Needless to say, that isn't my actual voice. My voice is deeper and more calming than my "stage voice".

I wouldn't trade my job for any other job in the entire world. I get to work with Count Spatula, who is the biggest, baddest monster truck alive. In the ring, he's a terror, but outside of performing, he's got a heart of gold. He goes to community events, gives to charity, and visits ill children in hospitals. I always go with him because I enjoy it, and I adore the reaction I get from kids. They adore Spatula though. That's not his real name. Now don't let anyone else know I told you, but his real name is Ralph. I'm Murphy. My actual designation isn't so terrible as Ralph's. _Ralph_ ! Why would any mother in this day and age name their son that when he would be the object of so much ridicule ? That goes beyond my sense of logic.

The only complaints I have about my work is the amount of damage I take to my body, which really isn't so bad. But, there is one guy, completely insane, who comes to the rallies and observes us. It's almost unnerving. I've seen him in the audience and I know he competes in rookie events, but he's still scary. His name is Dark. I've had a chance to talk to him before and he's so fanatical about me that I fear he stalks me when I go home at night. Fortunately, he does no such thing. Believe it or not, this faux Monster is a mortician. Now if that's not spooky I don't know what is. I admire him for his loyalty and I know that whenever there's a rally, he'll be there watching and using my expertise in the rookie leagues.

Chapter 2—Love in the Atmosphere

Only just recently, I have noticed an energetic white Ford faux monster cheering in the crowd. She always has an airhorn and she doesn't care if she's loud. But she's always cheering for me. She could easily be cheering for Spatula, Grave Digger, Hotwheels, Taz, Bulldozer or any of the other guys out there. But no...Every yell out of her lips is one for me. I admit her blue-green eyes make my RPMs speed up considerably, but I haven't had the guts to talk to her after the show was over. But, she took me by surprise.

"Hey, Crippler !", I heard a sweet, sultry, voice from the midwest say, and I could tell it was the Ford again. She was flirting with me, and wasn't the least bit concerned what others might have thought.

"You startled me !", I said, in my normal voice, since the program was through. She came up to me and smiled. She was absolutely dazzling.

"Ooh, you're even more handsome up close than you are in that ring showing everyone else who's boss ! And your actual voice...Ahhh !", she said, fawning all over me. I hadn't had a fangirl in all my years of performing, so this was a welcome change. I chuckled.

"My real name is Murphy. What about you ?", I asked.

"I'm Luna. I've been a fan for quite a while and only recently had I had the credits to start attending your shows. Worth every credit, I assure you.", Luna said, honestly, blushing a little bit. I thought now was an opportune time to begin talking to her in my stage voice.

"Time to perform a little surgery !", I said, laughing maniaclly. She screamed in laughter, wiping some tears from her windshield and then unexpectedly tickled me. I began howling because I was ticklish. I found myself on my side, laughing so hard. I saw Luna when I opened my eyes again and she said, very tenderly...

"Murphy, I love you." I wasn't expecting it, but I knew I had been struck by Cupid's arrow myself. The moment I had seen her, I was awash in a sea of love, and I _liked_ it.

"I do too, I hope we can get to know each other more.", I responded, as she helped me up.

She gave me a strong hug from the side and I felt myself melting from and had to recover.

"I have to go, but I promise I will be cheering for you at your next show.", Luna said, starting to leave the arena.

"Ah, fantastic ! It's a date then ! You have an appointment with The Crippler !", I said, adding my imcaronation at the end. She giggled. That was music to my ears. Strange thing is once she had left, I just wanted to be around her again.

Chapter 3—Monster Jam

When Monster Jam happens, it's insane for everyone. A lot of trucks get hurt and it's difficult to watch. Knowing a thing or two about medicine gives me an edge in helping others that are hurt. I may look fierce, but I believe I have a terrific bedside manner, and I have to have a gentle touch if I'm fixing another's injuries. This happens very frequently in Monster Jam. Once Bounty Hunter was torn up so horribly he was almost unrecognizeable, but I patched him up and got his engine running like clockwork. Seems that one of the fanbelts got loose and he was having troubles setting himself on fire. It was _not _a pretty sight, but gladly no one else but the professionals in Thunder Alley saw that happen.

Our objective in this show was to dazzle the audience, to leave them breathless. We would cause mindless destruction as usual...same old song and dance. I like the pointless carnage myself (mind you we don't hurt anything, except maybe ourselves on purpose sometimes), and this is always my night to shine. Ralph though, he goes into Mr. Hyde mode and really makes my oil chill. Brrrr ! As soon as he is in that arena, he is Count Spatula. His famous buzzphrase, "Enjoy your meal, _IT WILL BE YOUR LAST !_" got the response of a roaring crowd. I didn't want to get into Spatula's way for fear I would be scrap metal.

I was fortunate because I got into a little scrape with my friend while he was focused and in character. It was just a scratch, that could always be repaired. Suddenly, Raphael comes out of nowhere and rams Spatula into the other side of the arena, quite by accident. Raphael was hit by another truck that was trying to get out of the way of Hotwheels. I knew chaos was about to ensue and I got my bumper out of the way before Spatula went stir crazy.

"RAAAAWWRRRRR !", Spatula bellowed, sending shivers up everyone's tailpipes.

What happened next would make me busy for the ladder part of the night, but believe it or not, Luna waited patiently for me.

Chapter 4—Meant To Be

By the time Monster Jam had ended, I had suffered some scrapes and scratches but nothing extensive or costly. Luna had seen the show and was admiring my "battle scars". She went on and on how she had been wowed and became very concerned for me.

"I thought Spatula had you there for a moment. I had horrid visions of you turning into scrap metal but thank the Manufacturer you didn't.", she said, leaning in to peck me on the cheek. Again, I melted in that woman's presense. She knew exactly what it took to make me weak in the suspension, knobby axles and all.

I took Luna out on a date, the first actual date I had ever been on. Remembering the etiquette that my parents had taught me I behaved like a civil gentleman in public. I learned that Luna was not only a show truck, but she had been a beauty queen before. I could see why. Those eyes, and that unbelievable smile from those curvy lips would put any car into a trance.

I found myself dazzled by her almost constantly. Just being with her made me happy.

I hated to have to say farewell to my darling, but all dates must end at some time. I leaned forward to kiss her since I was a little bigger than she was. She drank my kiss as if it were fresh oil and it was her life's nourishment. For a moment, I felt my soul exit my frame, intermingling with hers momentarily. It was as if we had merged if only for a second.

"I love you, Luna !", I said, catching my breath.

"I do too, my handsome doctor.", she said, kissing me again. I did _not_ want her to ever stop kissing me, but I had to say goodnight. After smooching for probably an hour (or more, I wasn't sure because I lost track of time), I said goodbye and headed back home.

Chapter 5—Apology

That night, I had gotten a call from Ralph.

"I don't know what came over me, Murphy !", Ralph said, in a heartbroken tone.

"Hey, it's alright. I know how you are when you go into 'Spatula' mode. You become so focused that you lose yourself and _become_ Spatula. I am aware of that. You didn't hurt me.

Now as for Hotwheels...He's gonna be feeling that for a week most likely. You should be calling him and not me !", I chuckled.

"Were you able to fix his injuries ?", Ralph questioned.

"Yeah. Of course I did. Far as I know he's ok, but he could use a little get well wish from you, Ralph.", I sugguested. Ralph sounded relieved.

"Good idea, Murph. I'll give him a ring in a few. Thanks for the tip. Be seeing you next week, but watch your back !", Ralph reminded me.

"Noted. Later, Ralph. TTFN.", I said, hanging up my phone. As soon as I went into my garage, closed my eyes and went to sleep.

Epilogue

True, work is difficult, but Luna keeps me going. We have been dating for a year and only recently got married. I might be expecting a little monster, maybe two in a while. The excitement of being a dad really makes me proud. I cannot wait to meet our little ones, whether they are boys are girls. For now, our jobs combined meet the needs we have. Granted, I might have to take upon a third job once the little ones are born, but that's to be expected. I realize that being a father will take a lot of my time away from Monster Jam in the future but I don't mind. I just hope my children grow up educated, loved and shown they can always rely upon us,

wherever...whenever.

Scribblings of the Mad Doctor

September 10, 2006


End file.
